I’m fascinated by female archetypes - the maiden, mother, witch, serpent - all of Her many forms. I often wonder how much we’ve really progressed. Do these archaic images still exist in the way we view and treat women? The way I have been viewed and treated? The way I view myself?
Sex and Power
I just finished playing Cleopatra in an immersive theatre show called The Time Travel Cafe. Inside the cafe audiences are able to engage with different characters from history as the performance happens around them. Cleopatra discusses fear, desire, pleasure and power. I wanted to use this opportunity to explore the questions I had about femininity and sexuality. To see how people engaged with her mix of masculine dominance, fierceness and feminine allure. Most often, I have been approached with questions about Cleo’s sex life, her beauty and power…over men. This is her supposed legacy. One particularly memorable patron grabbed my attention across the space with a great manspread. I felt his eyes before I heard his words. He was sitting next to his wife, delicately perched beside him, and confidently leered in to ask loudly enough for everyone to hear, “So, did you have sex with Marc Antony?”. He was certainly not the first to ask that question but his eyes looked me up and down in his delivery. I still wonder what those words were really saying, they felt laden with intention as they crawled over my skin. Was it to confirm to him that I do have sex and humour his fantasy image? Is it just an excuse to discuss the image of my sexuality as an item of his pleasure, rightfully there for his judgement? Or was it another comment blurted out in the excitement of the moment because it’s the one fact he knew about Cleopatra? This was a power play - intentional or not. Because historically women like Cleopatra have been reduced to just their sexuality alone and what I want to know is, aren’t we tired of this narrative? Because in my eyes it exists to strip me of my power. To strip me of my pleasure as if to say it was never mine to begin with.
Pleasure Theory and the Villainess
In the show Cleo talks about the importance of pleasure. Immediately people assume I’m talking solely about sex - unsurprising given the world’s obsession with it, particularly when beautiful women are involved. She says, “I used pleasure not swords to secure Egypt’s security”. Before going on to describe the many forms of pleasure - colour, creativity “life’s delicacies” that really won Marc Antony and the freedom of Egypt under her command. But before I could get to this point a woman said to me and her husband “That’s what Amber did”.
Until now I'd decidedly ignored the Amber and Johnny Depp trial because I don’t enjoy the public display and sensationalisation of a domestic abuse case between two people. It was too uncomfortable to witness. I, like so many women who’ve been subject to sexual abuse in one form or another, found it sickening to watch the tearing down of Amber’s character - the careful but unavoidably aggressive pulling apart of her personality, hanging it to dry like meat on a butcher’s hook for the world to judge. And boy did they. So, I haven’t followed the whole trial, I don’t trust that it would be a display of justice - because when in history has it ever been easy for a woman in that position? But this article is not to discuss who’s right, who’s wrong, or the real “truth”. Because like anything in life things are never black and white. I am disappointed in the result. Not just of the court trial, but for the world as a whole, I’ll tell you why.
Amber has become a villain because she (at least in this woman’s eyes) used her sexuality for her advantage. A successful and beautiful actress, an already glorified figure, needed this man’s money apparently and to claim it she used the only power she has: her beauty. The apparent male Achilles heel! And for that she deserves the ultimate punishment.
Image By Martin Ingle for the Time Travel Cafe 2022
An Unfortunate Legacy
This is the unfortunate narrative that we spit out time and time again. Perhaps since Eve herself lured Adam with her shiny apple causing the doom of humanity for eternity. We did it to Cleopatra, Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Kimmy K. It’s all the same. Women who choose to embrace their sexuality and use the power of their image to their advantage get a particular serving. I’ll admit I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to hide mine. Trying to escape the leering eyes and wandering judgements of men and women alike - I've experienced the narrative that men are mad when they can’t have you, and women are mad they can’t be you. In that narrative nobody wins, least of all the woman in the light. Monroe, although glorified, was also beaten for her public display of sexuality and very literally beaten by her husband. We laugh at Kim Kardashian for the very reason we worship her, even still when she was publicly abused by Kanye as though she somehow deserved his spray. Madonna’s image was equally a sex icon as it was satanic one. These examples send a stark message that we are not as progressive as we may believe. We have a long way to go towards conquering our internalised misogyny that is cemented in these female archetypes.
I knew I would face this every night when I performed Cleopatra, but now I realise why I chose her or what she has taught me. Because Cleopatra’s true history (not the one written by male historians and movie directors) when uncovered, sends a message that women can have both power and pleasure. That sexuality doesn’t define them completely but can still be a strong part of them - and that’s the clincher. I somehow felt that I could be above my sexuality and undefined by it by removing it completely from the equation - but is that freedom? Must a woman choose between pleasure and power? Can’t I be free to embrace all parts of myself and use them as my unique offerings to the world?
A New Narrative
Cleo’s ending in reality was like any other war hero of the era. Ultimately the Romans conquered. Christianity conquered. And along with it vanished any chance of female (and sexual) freedom for some time. But we are always evolving. Things are changing. Can we abolish our negative sex culture - with all its fear and shame - and the demonisation of female sexuality that has so rootedly decided our history? I believe so. But we have to work at it, starting with ourselves. We have to find Cleopatra’s boldness. Her unashamed and unapologetic embrace of who she is - a vessel of power and pleasure alike. A true force to be reckoned with.